I'm Going on a Mission

I know I share a lot of personal experiences and opinions on this blog. And I hope that doesn't become annoying or overwhelming to anybody, but I want to talk a little bit about preparing to go on a mission.

They say that once you  make the decision to go on a mission, life gets hard. And it does. I've heard that crazy things start happening to you, or that you start to have doubts. I never understood how I, personally, could doubt the Church, although I think for some, that is their trial. For me, it was not. Satan could not make me doubt the truthfulness of the Church, so instead he started with the next most destructive method. He tried to make me doubt myself. Doubt whether I was smart enough, strong enough, good enough, spiritual enough to preach this gospel. And for a few minutes, he was very successful. But life will not get hard the way you expect it to. Maybe it's because we could brace ourselves for that, I don't know. I just know that Satan will take this time to work some of his very hardest on us, because he knows we are about to do something GREAT! The funny thing about it is, I think it's all in God's plan. If we remain close to God, he may allow us to be tempted but he is there beside us to help us withstand, and therefore in all of Satan's efforts to pull us away, we instead see just how strong we are becoming, we realize that he wouldn't be fighting us so hard if we weren't on the right track and we end up learning a lot about ourselves and who we are.
He works differently on everyone but what I do know, is he will try to make you doubt something. Either the gospel or yourself. He will take every opportunity to make you feel sad, hurt, hopeless, alone, bitter or anything else that is negative and debilitating and you have to be very careful about what you allow yourself to think and feel because he is just sitting on the sidelines waiting for you to give way to a little bit of negativity so he can take hold of the slack and pull you down. He doesn't care whether you still have faith in the gospel or not, sometimes, sometimes all he cares about is keeping you as miserable and blind to happiness as possible, because when we are negative it is harder to feel the spirit and harder to see the light.
Because of this, there are moments when I feel so alone, and if I allow myself to focus on it, it weighs on me. But really, these are the moments that, if I reach out, I am in the best of company, I can feel my heavenly father guiding me. I can feel my savior taking the pain and the frustration away, and I can feel angels, I know I have guardian angels with me right now. They walk with me everyday. I cannot see them there, but they are there and I don't think they're blocking bullets or doing anything to "save my life" but they are helping me realize I am never alone. And I am on the right path.
Whoever you are, if you are thinking about serving a mission, don't be afraid of the trials and the adversity that come against you. You are strong enough to withstand, I promise. I also promise that the moments when Satan works the hardest against you, are always the moments when you are doing the best things, and when you are truly your strongest. Anytime you feel weak, but have faith, you are far stronger than you will ever understand. So don't be afraid, be faithful, and know that you are a Child of God, and He has sent you here for a great purpose. The deeper the adversity, the nearer you are to God.
Things are tough right now, but my happiness comes from knowing that God is with me, and when God is with me, I don't need anyone else. I am not alone.
Remember to smile, because you are a child of God.